I’m Grateful to be ‘Alone’ during The Pandemic

As cliche as it sounds, I am thankful to be alone during this hard time

I watched this person named Rachel in her TikTok video says a really interesting thing. She said

“One of the best things that has ever happened to me was having to be single during this pandemic”.

At first, I thought… Really? This is actually the worst time to be alone. But then she continued

“It taught me to deal with one of the scariest times of my life, without having someone to literally hold my hand and hold me as I cried myself to sleep. I literally learned so much about myself, that being with somebody in the past has literally sucked out of me.”

It is indeed true…

Being alone like literally living alone during the pandemic is really hard. Not only that our moves are now limited, we cannot meet our friends or family easily, we cannot go out to be in the crowd looking for new friends or new inspirations.. And during the hard times, we might wish we would have had someone to be home with, to cuddle with, or to cry ourselves to sleep together when things get hard.

During this pandemic, I finally managed to have my own space. But starting it without my ex (whom I thought was the one), was really hard. He always knew how much I wanted this and how much I cannot wait to finally have a bigger space to live in. And having to celebrate the place without him, I felt so incomplete.

But as said in the video, as the days go by, even though I might still cry sometimes or still secretly wish I had someone else to share the house with, I’m so grateful to be alone in this pandemic. Thinking further, we actually will deal with things by ourselves. We die alone. When we did bad things, we (ourselves) have to deal with the consequences for real.

Not saying that having our loved ones around is not good. But have you ever heard something saying like “we have to love ourselves first before someone else love us”. And I guess being alone in this pandemic time also taught me to be strong no matter what, and if bad things happen while I handle it by being by myself and only with me, nothing will really scare me anymore.

If I can pass through being sad, broken into pieces, and hopeless in this crazy time and having no one for me to cry on the shoulder, nothing will really break me again in the future.

To Rachel who created that video, Thank you for helping me realize this.